Thoughts
by AerinM
Summary: Warren's thoughts after watching Kendra die in front of him in book 4. As you can imagine, it's a super happy subject. Written for Warren & Kendra day back in July.
1. Chapter 1

_feministkendra provided the following prompt, so I wrote this short story in response. ;) Have some angst._

**_whatever you do don't think about how warren punched a cave wall so hard his knuckles bleed after seeing neil die and blamed himself even though he couldn't have done anything to save him and had already helped the rest of the team get through the traps_**

**_and especially don't think about how if that was the level of grief and guilt he felt for a man who he had just met then imagine how destroyed he must have been by kendra's fake death_**

* * *

How.

How?

How…?

Elise pulled Warren in for a tight hug. "I'm so sorry, Warren," she said as she held him.

He was in shock. Logically, he understood that he was in shock. His brain stopped there. He couldn't think beyond the events of the past ten minutes. It didn't make sense. None of it made sense.

Nothing made sense anymore.

She was fine.

_She'd died right in front of him._

No. She was _fine!_

"Warren," Elise called.

He clenched his hands into fists.

"Warren," she called again, forcing him to look at her.

She was distressed. Of course she was distressed. _He_ was distressed.

"How… why…?" Warren stumbled over his words, his discordant brain trying desperately to come to terms with what he'd just witnessed. "What just happened?"

Elise looked at him in concern. "Kendra swallowed a pill. You tried to save her, but you couldn't. She's dead, Warren."

Warren shook his head. "No. No, that wasn't Kendra," he stated.

"Yes it was," Elise patiently answered.

"No! Kendra wouldn't… she _couldn't_… she wouldn't do that. Any of it. Not the letter, not hitting her brother, not the- not the end. That wasn't her. It couldn't be. It doesn't make sense." He grabbed fistfuls of his hair as Elise put a gentle hand on his back and walked him further away from the house. Warren continued to ramble.

"She's not like that. I know you don't know her, 'Lise, but you would have liked her. No. You _will_ like her, because that simply _wasn't her_. She's smart, brave and funny. She likes soccer and playing the piano and she sometimes puts Frosted Flakes on top of her ice cream. She's kind and sweet and _honest_. She wouldn't betray us like that. And she wouldn't- she'd never- _where would she have even obtained a pill like that in the first place?_"

Elise stopped walking. "Look, Warren," she began, putting her hands on his shoulders and making eye contact with him, "You're right that I _don't_ really know her, and you know I trust your insights and opinions on people. Hey." She caught his wandering attention and looked him in the eyes again. "I know what I saw, Warren; and what I saw was a girl who betrayed her family and then killed herself once she'd been caught. She's _dead_, Warren. I'm sorry - I really am - but she's dead."

He blinked. His face screwed up into a painful frown. He was torn between anger and a deep sadness.

He shook free of Elise's hold and slammed his closed fist into the trunk of the tree next to him, then repeated the action with his other fist. Over and over again, until his knuckles and the sides of his hands bled and his shoulders shook as he quietly sobbed.

Elise approached him again once he'd stopped hitting the tree and had slouched down onto the ground in front of it. She embraced him from behind and rested her head against the back of his neck. "I'm so sorry, Warr," she said.

Warren broke down in tears.

_How?_


	2. Chapter 2

_And at the demand that I "fix it," here is the conclusion. _

* * *

"Warren. Warren, wake up. Oh - it's no use. He must've had some of Tanu's sleeping potion."

The man in question slothfully moved his arm. Somewhere in his brain he registered Ruth's voice, but he wasn't feeling very coherent and his limbs were as heavy as lead. _What time was it?_

"Nope, he's got to wake up. He won't want to miss this." Warren felt someone shake his shoulder; they weren't gentle about it, either. "Wake up. Trask found Kendra."

Warren opened his eyes and sat upright in bed, looking around the room wildly. Everything was blurry, but he could tell that he wasn't in his bedroom in the cabin. The main house, then? Why?

…Oh, right. To be closer to Seth. In case his cousin needed him.

Wait.

_Kendra_.

"Whazza - Kendra?" Warren blurted out loud, his mind still not fully awake.

"That must've been a strong sleeping draught," someone mused. Stan, maybe? Yeah. Stan.

"He and Seth both needed it. I almost took Tanu up on his offer, too. Dale had a half dose."

Warren rubbed his face with his hands, willing himself to wake up. He looked around the room again and the figures and shapes in it were less blurry. His arms and legs still felt heavy, but his mind was starting to become a little more alert. "Kendra?" he asked.

"Trask found her," Stan said. "She's in Illinois. We've bought you a plane ticket to go get her and bring her home. Are you up for it?"

Warren stood up and stumbled. Ruth helped to keep him from falling over. _Wow, that really _was_ a strong sleeping potion_.

"Yeah, yeah," Warren said. "When does the plane leave?"

"Three hours. Enough time for you to take a shower and get dressed before we take you to the airport. I'll make you some coffee," Stan said.

"Are you sure you can handle this?" Ruth asked. "I want to go - I _can_ go - but the travel would be easier for you, and you're better able to protect her than either Stan or I am."

Warren nearly cried in front of his pseudo-parents right then and there. "She's _alive?_"

Ruth _did_ cry. "Yes, Warren. She's alive. She's _alive!_"

Warren hugged Ruth tightly around her shoulders and then quickly let her go. "The airport's an hour drive from here. I'll go take a shower _right now_. Where is she? Who's she with?"

"Trask has her; he's taking her to a hotel in Chicago, pretty far away from where she was recovered, so that she can get some sleep. We just spoke with her on the phone." Stan's eyes were red-rimmed and watery. Ruth was all smiles, regardless of the tears running down her cheeks.

"Yeah. Ok. I've got this." Warren ran for the door of the guest room he'd holed up in before he realized he forgot to grab his towel and fresh clothes to change into. "Coffee, Stan!" he cried as he ran back into the bedroom and grabbed the items he needed.

"I'm on it," Stan replied.

His baby cousin was safe. Not only that, but she was in good company. Trask was a good man and a solid ally.

_She was safe!_

* * *

After what had to have been one of the quickest showers known to mankind, followed by a hasty packing job and a trip to the airport with Ruth at the wheel, Warren found himself sitting on the first plane out to Chicago that morning. He was antsy the entire ride and couldn't wipe the enormous grin off of his face. His ridiculous expression may or may not have scared some of his fellow passengers; he didn't care. When one of the flight attendants asked him what he was so excited about, he told them that he was going to see his little sister for the first time in a really long time. They'd then asked him some courteous follow-up questions and then left him alone after that.

About four hours after he'd first arrived at the airport in Connecticut, his plane touched down in Chicago. He called Trask as soon as the plane landed and received the name of the hotel that he and Kendra had checked into, along with the room number. Once he deboarded the aircraft, Warren ran to the ground transportation section of the Chicago airport, hopped into a cab and made a beeline straight for the hotel.

Once inside the hotel, he bypassed the elevators and instead took the stairs two at a time; Kendra and Trask were on the third floor, and he was positive that he would shave seconds off of his arrival time if he didn't wait for an elevator.

304… 305… 306… 307. Bingo.

Warren knocked on the room's door with a sense of urgency. He bounced on the balls of his feet while he waited for someone to answer it.

_This had better not be a prank._

Who was he kidding? This was _Trask_ he was talking about. Trask didn't pull pranks.

_She had better be in perfect condition. _If there was one single mark on that girl, so help him -

The door opened a crack, revealing a very tall man with a familiar face. "Trask," Warren called. "Is she okay? Is she hurt?"

Trask closed the door to unlatch the chain lock, then opened it fully and admitted Warren into the room. "She's fine," the older man answered. "Just sleeping. She's had a long, trying night." He gestured to one of the beds in the room where a small figure lay curled up beneath the covers.

Warren dropped his backpack on the floor and ran to her side, crouching down in front of her so that he had a good view of her sleeping face. He noticed the way her arm rose and fell with every breath she took. His eyes filled with tears again and the sight of his cousin, alive and well. Especially alive. Did he forget to mention the _utter relief _he felt at the sight of her simply being _alive? She was alive!_

He brushed some her hair off of her face, and then couldn't help himself - he tackled her in a vice-like hug. It woke her up almost immediately, and he could tell that she was a little panicked at first, but once she realized it was him she relaxed and then burst into tears of relief.

Warren, for his part, couldn't prevent his own tears from falling, either. He held her close as they both cried. Kendra, for some reason, kept apologizing for being kidnapped, which made no sense whatsoever but he let her talk anyway to let her get it out of her system. He then told her that none of them had been able to see through her imposter's disguise and had all sincerely believed she'd died, although they couldn't explain her behavioral differences. Trask had thought for a while that maybe she'd been under the control of a narcoblix - a good theory, however in practice there were too many flaws associated with it. But mostly, he just held her close while they both cried and soaked up the feeling of being in one another's presence again.

Two hours later found them both passed out again, cuddled up together like two puppies in a pile. Trask, for his part, ordered some sandwiches to be delivered to their room and then retired to the other bed himself for a nap. Warren and Kendra would be flying back to Connecticut together that evening, but they had a few more hours to rest before they all headed to the airport.

And rest they did, content in the presence of one another.

She was _alive_. She was _safe_. And Warren was going to make sure she _stayed that way._


End file.
